Regular readers of this blog would know that my family is a blended family. I share my two girls with their dad and for three years now we have managed the set up well enough, if I do say so myself. However, being a blended family, just like any traditional family, has its own share of challenges. We encountered another one recently.
I love hearing about life stories, especially those about families. I find them interesting because sometimes I can relate to their stories. Isn’t it nice to know that other people are going through the same things too? Also, I learn a lot from them too …. useful insights or strategies that I can apply to my own life and family. This is why I also love to share my own family stories, which I think is not a bad thing. I know what my boundaries are and I am always careful about sharing too much personal information that could potentially endanger myself and most of all, my family. I share not just through this blog but also through my personal Facebook page. My Facebook page mostly consist of family photos and some random status messages about how I’m feeling on a particular day, nothing that I find too personal to share. So, it’s really irritating to learn that some people have been saying mean things about them.
Throughout the years, my girls’ dad and I shared lots of things, including friends, which means we share some friends on Facebook too. Lately though, this has become a bit of a dilemma when he found out that some of his friends have been saying mean things because of what they saw on my Facebook page. The thing is, those saying the mean things are not connected to me on Facebook. Instead, they are connected to a common friend of ours. I wasn’t informed about who exactly they are and what they said, just that they have been saying mean things about Kai (my hubby now) and our baby, Ziggy. The comments were apparently triggered by me posting the photos of my girls’ recognition day in school, which their dad was unable to attend. His being not included in the photos elicit the mean questions about his absence as well as the mean comments about Kai and Ziggy. My ex is of course furious about the whole thing and asked me not to post too much on FB.
The first time I heard about this I wasn’t really bothered. I don’t even know who the mean people are. But the whole situation is just irritating. I have the right to post those photos on my personal FB page and I don’t think anybody has the right to prevent me from doing so. Besides, they’re all wholesome photos showing my kids receiving their awards from school, with some photos including me, Kai and Ziggy. Actually, make that just one photo including Kai and Ziggy. I shared these photos because I’m a proud mom who wants to share my kids’ achievements with my family and friends. What I can’t control is how people react to them. If people react negatively then that’s their problem, not mine. The most irritating part, though, is how these reactions are affecting the relationship I have with my ex. We have been quite successful handling co-parenting the kids and I am proud of that. The last thing we need are negative people who have nothing better to do than to mind other people’s business.
The last thing I have to say about it is this: We are happy living our lives the way we choose to live it. We try to do good in the eyes of God and the society. We love our kids and strive to raise them well. So, if you have nothing good to say about that, then just walk away and keep your mouth shut.
I’d ignore the comments. It’s nice that you and your ex are able to handle the parenting nicely. It seems he’s only irritated by the comments so he should just remember “sticks and stones”. Can you change the settings on your facebook page so only friends can see them? Perhaps that will satisfy everyone.
I believe in if you have nothing nice to say ten don’t say anything at all. People can be so mean. Now following you on facebook from hop.
http://momsinvent.blogspot.com/
You have a beautiful family. Hugs!
Never mind those comments and don’t get affected by it. Sometimes the guilty party and those people who doesn’t have anything important to do just loves rumor mongering… Pappi is a great DAD, and Ziggy and the girls are just perfect! Im proud of you Janice 🙂
That darn Facebook, I swear it’s a curse sometimes. I’m only connected with a very few friends on my personal page to try to avoid drama. You’re right tho’, you should be able to post what you want on your own page without others saying something mean and ignorant.
Thanks for linking up with the Weekend Wind Down. 🙂
I always find it really sad when this kind of drama – at this age in our lives – is present. I’ve made the mistake of believing that behavior like this would be left behind in high school, but still surprised when it surfaces in scenarios, today. I think we all have people like this in our lives (directly or indirectly) who are insecure and lacking in their OWN lives that they feel the need to stir up drama.
I’m sorry you’ve had to experience this, but the last paragraph in your post is beautifully written and clearly shows that you continue to handle yourself with grace. Just keep doing what you’re doing and let God be the judge. The rumor-mill will run its course!
xo.
facebook can be a pain sometimes. coz of those narrow-minded people. i can sense that you’re doing well and just keep on. enjoy life as you do 😀
now, let me invite you to Sweet Saturday meme. Let’s share about what you’ve been doing as couples. Here’s the
first post and linkywhich is up til Saturday. (we play every other Saturday.)
Hope you can join. God Bless!
Some people just thrive on causing misery for others, mainly because they themselves are miserable in life. We do have a right to post photos on our own websites and pages, that’s what social networking is all about.
CJ xx