I haven’t been feeling like my normal self for a little over a week now. I heard some news about something that has been troubling me for a few years and it’s not good. Sorry, I can’t share the private details here but what I can tell you is that it has been affecting me a lot.
With “a lot” I mean, it’s taking a toll on me not just physically but emotionally and mentally as well. I’ve been having anxiety attacks. This happens to me every so often for the past several years. I guess, it was brought about by several traumatic experiences growing up. The thing is, I was able to manage it before. It’s a different story now.
Most days I am able to manage it on my own in the sense that I am able to prevent it from getting worse. But there are just days when all I wanna do is hole up in bed and cry. When it happens, it’s hard to breath. I get palpitations. My knees get weak. My hands get clammy. And when it gets like that, it becomes harder to control. It has gotten to the point where I had to proactively seek help because I don’t want it to get even worse.
First and foremost, I have to take care of my two-year-old son. I have to tend to my hubby and my two daughters too, not to mention the house and my clients as well. There are days when my mind just wants to give up. Wouldn’t it be easier? But there is still that part of me who’s a fighter. It’s that part of me that has been fighting all these years. She’s tired… oh so tired. But she’s still there and I’m grateful for that.
I’m not sharing this with you guys to depress you. I don’t mean to be negative. I just want to let you know that even though I struggle every minute of every single day, I still feel hopeful that things will be okay in the end. I still believe that God has a reason and that He will find a way for my troubles to go away. I just need to find that strength within me to keep going. I need to find peace.
That is why when I saw this on Instagram earlier today, I could immediately relate.
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When I saw this, I really felt that God was sending me a message. It’s exactly what I need to do. Keep calm and sparkle. And it even came in purple, my favorite color! If that isn’t a sign I don’t know what is.
I need to keep calm. I need to be still. I need to push my worries away so that I can function and see how I can solve my problems. I need to rise above my fears so that I can sparkle. I need to keep this in mind all the time. So, starting today this will be my new mantra.
I love this quote so much that I started searching for better images because this one’s a bit blurry. I actually found a few but I chose this one below as my favorite. The image is clearer. The purple is more to my liking and when you say the phrase it’s not “bitin” because it has the word “on” at the end. Haha!
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I’m feeling a little better already. I hope I can keep this up.
Would you guys mind sending me a little encouragement?
