Back to Our Old Normal

Some time around summer of this year, I blogged about how my daughters decided it was time for them to leave our house and go try living at their dad’s. It was a very difficult time for me because I wasn’t prepared to let them go and I didn’t believe that it was the best option for them at this point in their lives. But in the end, I let them go and we settled into our new normal, meaning they stayed with their dad from Mondays to Friday mornings, then with us when they go home from school on Fridays up to Monday mornings.

It took time for everyone to adjust but eventually we all fell into a new pattern. We eventually got used to things. Though it pained me to see them off to school every Monday morning knowing that the next time I’ll see them will be four days after, I accepted it as just part of our blended family dynamics. During the last several months, I prepared myself with the possibility that the new arrangement would be for good and that they would never really live here full time anymore. Little did I know, things will change again.

Two weeks ago, something school-related happened that made me very, very concerned for my daughters, most especially Ziya. I knew that if there’s one of them who will be the most affected with the move, it would be her because she’s not yet as independent as Zoe. I feared that she will not be able to cope with me not being there for her all the time. I knew too, that with me no longer there with them everyday, Zoe will be forced to step up and play the “mom” role for both of them. Something that is too much of a responsibility for a 12-year-old and I know this for a fact because the same thing happened to me when I was 12.

Anyway, long story short, I decided that no matter what they say and no matter what their dad says, the best option for them was to return here, at least for the time being. I was expecting them to say they didn’t want to but surprisingly, they did. Zoe even said that she realized that everything I said was going to happen, did happen, and that everything I said were true. It was so good to hear that. There really is a reason for everything. I think God allowed all this to happen in order to make them realize the value of everything I’ve been doing for them and that these are things that only I, their mother, can do for them.

It’s been almost two weeks now since they came back. It wasn’t an easy transition. Since it wasn’t exactly planned way ahead of time, I wasn’t prepared. Suddenly, the hubby and I had to scramble to buy more food because there will be 5 of us again eating in the house. We had to buy more snacks and lunch items for school. I had to suddenly go back to waking up at 5:30 a.m. to make sure they’re in school by 8 am with everything that they need. Hubby had to rush home from work every morning so that he can take the girls to school. He has to wake up earlier than usual in the afternoon to pick them up. All of a sudden, I have homework duty again. I have to wash and iron their uniforms again.  I had to rearrange the WAHM schedule that I’ve already gotten used to for months now.

Needless to say, it has been a VERY hectic last two weeks. I am frazzled and exhausted. But I don’t care. My girls are back and that’s all that matters now. My three kids are together again, everyday. It may be chaos but it’s my chaos and I wouldn’t have it any other way. All is complete in my world.