The Reluctant Homemaker

We finally got Ziggy’s official birth certificate from the City Hall last week. Thinking about that birth certificate reminds me of the moment back in the hospital when Kai first filled up the form. I was busy taking care of Ziggy in my hospital room so the task of filling up the form and submitting it to the hospital fell on his lap. When he was done filling in the information, he gave the form to me so I could sign on it. I almost didn’t when I saw what he put under my “occupation”. On that slot, he placed “homemaker”.

Okay, so I resigned from my job months ago because we agreed that we didn’t want a nanny to take care of our baby. Also, since my daughters are growing up and starting to journey into being tweens soon, we felt that I needed to be around for them more. So, I quit my job and stayed home, but with the intention of getting some consulting work or part-time work from time to time. Thus, I started to refer to myself as a work-at-home mom, which I was for a couple of months. Then, the work stopped when the third trimester of my pregnancy kicked in. Things were just too hectic with us that setting aside time for work was actually next to impossible. So, I guess that’s when I transitioned into being a stay-at-home mom.

It’s so ironic, really. I have nothing against stay-at-home moms. For the most part, I love being one. It’s just that my reluctance to being one started when I was still a kid. Though my mom also worked part-time when my siblings and I were growing up, she was still very financially dependent on my dad. Also, not having finished college, it was hard for her to get back on her feet when they separated. That’s when I vowed I will never be financially dependent on anybody. 

The thing is, unlike my mom, I did finish college and I have my Masters in Business studies and solid work background to back me up if I needed to find a job. Aside from that, my hubby is willing to be the sole financial provider as long as he knows our kids are taken care of by me and not by anybody else. I guess, I’m just scared about being dependent and moreso of the “what if something happens?”. I have always prided myself for being responsible and independent. Kai says it’s now time for me to learn what “partnership” is really all about. Maybe he’s right.

Every single day I get so tired even if we do have a housekeeper who does the chores. (But I don’t rely on this because we don’t always have a housekeeper. We actually went on for months and months without one. It’s just so hard to find good help these days.) Taking care of the kids and supervising the upkeep of the house is already a full time job, though I don’t get paid for what I do. The truth is, I am working at home. The work I do is actually more physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting than any other job I’ve had in the past. I do make our house a home, thus making me a homemaker. If I’m successful at doing that and my kids benefit from it, then that’s a great achievement, right? It beats any paycheck, if you ask me.