Mommy’s Getting Her Groove Back

I haven’t been feeling great about the way I looked lately. Before I became a stay-at-home mom turned work-at-home mom, I was a full time working woman. As a working woman, I had to go to the office daily, sometimes even on weekends. I also had to organize and attend lots of events and meet various people. This all meant, of course, that I always had to look my best.

So, as a full-time career woman, I invested on nice clothes, shoes and accessories often. I perused a lot of fashion magazines to keep up with trends. Some of the stuff I bought were branded, some were not. That didn’t really matter much. What mattered was that I always had to look good so that justified my purchases. Haha! Looking good made me feel confident about myself, especially since I was already then a mother of two. Friends still referred to me as the “hot mama”.

Things changed though when I had to resign from my job because of a delicate pregnancy with my third child, Ziggy, in  2010. I became a stay-at-home wife whose only main priorities were household management, child rearing and of course, wifely duties. I didn’t need to invest on fashion. What for? I stayed home most of the time. Besides, we were then only living in a one income household so I would rather spend on more important stuff. Fashion took a back seat.

I guess, to a certain extent, that was good because it allowed me to focus our budget on what was really needed by the family. However, it led me to also forget myself. I had gained some weight months before the pregnancy but didn’t really invest on new clothes because I reasoned with myself that I could still lose the weight.  When I gave birth, I lost the pregnancy weight but never lost the weight I gained prior to the pregnancy. So, my clothes actually didn’t fit well on me anymore.

I tried to hide the fact that I didn’t feel bad about the weight. Besides I had more important things to think about, right? I tried to dismiss thoughts of wanting to shop for myself and feel guilty when I do because there were so many other expenses to prioritize. But the truth was, I did feel bad about not looking my best. In my head, I knew I still deserved to treat myself well not for the sake of my husband or anyone else but just for myself.

It took me about two years before I really started to make an effort to get my groove back. Several months ago, I started buying new clothes that fit me well and looked good on me. Little by little, I’m filling up my closet with a new wardrobe that fits the woman that I am now.

Recently, I decided though that while buying new stuff helped, I still had to improve something else. I was really starting to get frustrated with my hair! It wasn’t growing as long as I hoped it would. At the same time, it was too expensive to keep going to the salon for treatments. So, I decided it was time for a new ‘do. I went to the salon last week looking like this.

I walked out looking like this.

Yup, it’s super short! This is not a new look for me though. I’ve had my hair cut this short back in college. Haha! The long hair wasn’t really doing anything for me at all. It just made want to put my hair in a headband and ponytail. My pole dancing instructor from several weeks ago called them “mommy headbands and ponytails”.

Watching the video of our pole dancing class made me realize that my body actually did not look so bad all. However, I also realized that I needed a new look fast. Thus, the haircut. I’ve already received a lot of compliments for it and I am all the more inspired to put more effort into getting my groove back. After all, I deserve it, don’t you think?