Typical Family Days in a Blended Family

Whenever I tell people that we’re a blended family, they are almost always immediately interested. I can understand why. It’s not that blended families are uncommon. In fact, they are more common than most people think. It’s just that I think most people are just really curious and interested to know how the dynamics are in a blended family. For instance, one of the most common questions I get is whether my daughters still get to spend family time with their dad (since they live with me). The answer to that is yes.

Having a blended family can be quite complicated and time management can also be more challenging. Instead of  just thinking about each family members’ schedule, we also have to consider my Ex’s schedule as well as his new family’s schedule. There are times when scheduling conflicts arise and obviously, either my Ex or I will have to give way. It depends on whether their plans are more important than ours. The word “important” here means a special event such as a birthday or an anniversary. This doesn’t happen too often  though and to avoid this, we usually inform each other about such occasions in advance.

Most of the time, though, we just play it by ear. Take for example what happened last Saturday. We went to my daughter’s school’s Family and Foundation Day event. My Ex also attended the event and even participated in one of the games meant especially for fathers (which I was definitely pleased about). He then requested to take the girls out for a movie. It wasn’t really part of the plan for that day but I consented thinking that we can all go to the same mall. Kai and I could just run errands and spend family time with Ziggy while waiting for the girls to finish watching the movie with their dad. It worked out perfectly. After that, when my Ex already left, the five of us went out to another mall, played games, did videoke and had dinner together. In the end, everybody got what they wanted and went home happy.

I guess, this arrangement works because we’ve learned how to give and take. We’ve learned that we don’t always get what we want and that sometimes other people’s needs are more important or urgent than our own. Ultimately, the three of us as parents all agree that what’s important is what’s best for the kids. After all, even if there are essentially two separate families involved, we are all still connected and have no choice but to work well with each other.