Inspirations: On Choosing People

As I was thinking about what inspirational quote to blog about this week, I came across this quote below. It immediately resonated with me because of a conversation I’ve had with my hubby several weeks ago.

I can really relate to this quote. I only realized a few years back how important it really is to reflect about our relationships with the people in our lives so that we can determine whether they really deserve to still be in our lives or not.

I have been plagued by what I call “toxic” people for most of my life. I label them such because most of what they bring to my life is “poison”, things that do nothing but bring not only me but my family down. Some of these people have made my life a living hell (and that is no drama).

There are also those that are not exactly toxic but don’t really contribute much to my life anymore. They are there because we’ve formed some sort of bond in the past that is no longer really present now. I just maintain them in my life because of the history we share.

I’ve had time to really reflect about why I kept these people in my life, especially the toxic ones, and I’ve realized it’s because I’ve had a fear of losing people. Somehow over the years, I got it into my brain that my life will lose its meaning if I’m not surrounded by lots of family and friends. So I tried to keep all of them around even though they’ve hurt me, made me cry, put me down, or simply just didn’t care to reciprocate all my efforts of keeping in touch. I’ve always been the one who kept in touch with everyone, remembered their birthdays and special occasions but end up feeling bad when not all of them do the same for me.

Eventually, I realized that it doesn’t really take lots and lots of people to make my life meaningful and happy. I realized that my life would be a lot calmer if I learned to let go of certain people in my life. Because if I didn’t, I was afraid that they’d just drain me to the point of no return and I couldn’t let that happen. And so I have done a lot of letting go these past few years.

I choose to keep only those who have a positive effect on me and my family, those who love and respect me and don’t deliberately hurt me. I choose to keep those who inspire me to be the best that I can be in my professional and personal life. I decided to dedicate my precious time only to those who deserve it. Because my time is valuable. It wasn’t easy at first but it got easier in time. I finally felt lighter, like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders.

Thankfully, doing these things have enabled me to really focus on the good in my life. I am a lot happier now. Of course, it’s not really possible to totally rid my life of negative people. I just stay away from them as much as I can. I believe I’ve found a new tribe of friends who can relate better to my life now. In turn, I can also contribute more to their lives.

Most importantly, it has helped me focus on my inner circle, which is composed of just four other people – my hubby, our two girls and our little boy.

This small family of ours means the most to me. They’re the ones who truly inspire me to do better in all aspects of my life. They’re the ones who truly love me unconditionally. So, as long as they’re around, I’m more than good — I’m great! I’m complete.

Have you also encountered difficulties in choosing people in your life wisely? Tell me about it.